How We Doing? Q1 Check In On 2020 Goals
Here I am, laying on a collection of embroidered pillows in the Airbnb I escaped to three days ago when I couldn’t handle living in a hostel under quarantine with eight strangers and Diego in a country not one of us belonged to for one second longer, reflecting on what goal-setting means during a global pandemic.
I’m watching content roll out (and, in some cases, producing it myself; a girl’s got to eat) about how to make the most of the abrupt change coronavirus has caused in our lives. How to support our communities, how to seek the silver linings, how to be a better cook or mom or at-home worker.
I love goals. I love productivity. I love the constant climb to improve. It irritates some of my loved ones, who can’t understand why I’m not happy and appreciative of all I already have, all I can already do.
That’s not it at all, though. I’m thrilled and grateful with where I am, but imaging where I can be is what motivates me, and following that motivation makes me feel purposeful and alive.
But not during a pandemic.
I tried to play out the type-A productive quarantine fantasy. I spent my first few days meal planning and meditating, stumbling through basic phrases in French and perfecting my overhand volleyball serve, and staying on top of all my client work and sending out new coronavirus pitches.
Then I started to notice dark, sour moods descend upon me, and no amount of planned productivity—wait, let’s organize the kitchen together! let’s learn new dances! let’s pick up that list of French pronunciations and give it another try!—could send them away. Work was hard to focus on and I had no interest in jovial chats with the strangers invading my bedroom and my bathroom and my relationship. It was tough enough to wake up, sit in the sun, try to meditate, work for a bit, and cook to feed myself and Diego. I did those things, and they gave me purpose. Self-improvement writ large didn’t.
It feels like the first two months of this year weren’t real. Did I really go to Cuba for a week and a half? Was I really published in print in the Wall Street Journal? Did I explore Belize and Guatemala and get a job translating for a cooking school and move into a hostel and make friends and make enemies and welcome a visit from one of my best friends and have some of the toughest moments of my relationship? Or has this year just been all coronavirus, all the time?
I’m going to try to remember the entirety of this first quarter, not just the last 15 days of quarantine and personal drama and the end of the world as we all knew it. Wish me luck.
Keep traveling to new places and reflecting on who I am in them.
1. Travel continuously. How? Be on the road for at least four months of the year.
On track to be a maybe. I traveled for all of January and some of February, then settled down in Antigua where I’ve been for a full two months now. It’s beautiful—the climate, the volcanos, the colors, the food—but I haven’t found my people here and it feels far too expat-y and small to be a forever home. And in general, traveling in Guatemala has been hard. Diego and I have fought more than ever before, and I’ve missed the comforts of home more than ever. I just want to sleep in the same bed over and over again—and have that bed not be in a dormitory with half a dozen other people. I want a kitchen I can stock with the ingredients I like and a washing machine and a closet and a chance to lock my passport away and not need to know exactly where it is every minute of every day. I don’t know if I’ll hit four months on the road this year, or if I want to. I think next year, my goal will be about taking a couple of trips, versus continuous backpacking. I’m ready to move on from this phase of life, at least for now.
If borders stay closed, this will probably be a fail, and even if they reopen, I don’t know that I’ll spend another two months traveling this year (but maybe I will, especially if we’re able to make it to the States for the summer). Overall, I think realizing what I want and being willing to change my stated plan to better address it is a full-on win, even if it’s not an exact completion of what I wrote three months ago.
2. Keep figuring out where I want to call home. How? Travel the rest of Central America and see if there’s anywhere that feels like home. Write a list of qualities I’d like in my future home + a list of places that come close. Figure out where to go after a US trip mid-next year and go there.
On track to be a fail. It looks like I won’t make it to the rest of Central America anytime soon, both because I am getting burned out from traveling and because borders are closed and travel is halted for the virus. Our Guatemala visa ends in 3 weeks or so and I don’t know what we’ll do. Cross that bridge when we get to it, I suppose.
I haven’t written a list of qualities I’d like in my future home, either, though Diego and I have discussed it and the closest place to perfect we both have in mind is Buenos Aires. We’d like to go back at the end of this year.
3. Reflect on how travel influences me and teaches me. How? Write at least one big travel-focused reflection essay a quarter.
On track to be a win. I wrote two essays about Cuba and all of the rich reflection I was inspired to do from my trip there. I’m proud of them and you should read them.
Maintain financial independence while pursuing a balance of professional and lifestyle fulfillment.
1. Make enough money writing and editing to fund my travels while not working so much I can’t enjoy the travel itself. How? Make 3k/month while not working more than 20 hours/week and help enable Diego’s growing business so I can count on him for more.
On track to be a win. I’ve surprised myself with how much I’ve surpassed my money goal, at least for these first few months; surely a lot of that has to do with the fact that I’ve been able to work from one place continuously without having to juggle lots of travel. It’s been really nice, though. And I haven’t gotten even close to a 20-hour workweek (!!) while doing it. I’m seeing some work and opportunities dry up as the coronavirus’s impact continues to grow, but I’m still confident I can meet this goal all year round. And re: Diego’s work, I’m really proud of him—he’s made his money goal for January, February, and March and is set to increase it. I think I’m doing a better job of helping him without micromanaging him, but we’d have to ask him.
2. Manage money responsibly. How? Keep daily travel tracker, pay off 2019 taxes and get ahead of 2020 quarterly taxes, and develop better system for invoicing.
On track to be a win. I’ve improved my invoicing system, saved money for 2019 taxes, and am going to be ahead of 2020 taxes (if and when I figure out when to file 2019, depending on how my travel plans change). I have failed in recent days to keep my money tracking up to date, but I don’t think it’s anything I can’t recover from, and have otherwise done a good job of tracking daily.
3. Maintain nest egg. Stretch goal: contribute to it. How? Do not touch “back to real life” savings and ideally, add to them.
On track to be a win. I haven’t touched it and if—if!—I get all my tax stuff squared away, I should be able to add to it. (!)
Grow as a writer and creator.
1. Work with more editors and reach more readers. How? Publish in at least five new outlets, at least one of which to be print. Specifically, I’d like to write more book reviews, women at work stories, tech stories, travel pieces, and personal essays this year.
On track to be a big win! I published I print already this year (Jan. 4!) in the WSJ, and published last week in Slate. So two of five new outlets down. I had a story placed at another major one, but coronavirus coverage took over their editorial calendar and my story got killed. I’m realizing that I get the most joy out of writing personal essays, so I want to keep pitching those over the next few months.
And I have a story I’m really excited to write coming out in a travel outlet I love in a few months, too.
2. Grow my community. How? Be active on writing Twitter and use that + Instagram to connect with other writers, maintain relationships with editors, and host some kind of writing event (not unlike my 2019 Galentines event, but focused on writing specifically).
On track to be a fail. Twitter gives me anxiety and I deleted it from my phone two weeks ago. Instagram I still like, and I’ve certainly made a couple of real connections from it. And where did I get this event idea? I’m not at all into it. Not a priority right now.
3. Be a top-notch content marketer and continue to gain professional experience to build into a career, if and when I stop traveling. How? Have at least 5 regular corporate clients and pitch new ones at least once a month, and ask for and act on their feedback.
On track to be a win, though I have only three core CM clients and I’ve only pitched one new one this quarter. I need to get better at systematic business development. I also haven’t asked for feedback in any kind of systematic way, though I have done so ad-hoc.
Love and honor my body and brain.
1. Be active on a regular basis. How? Hit at least 10,000 steps a day.
On track to be a fail, sadly. Another victim of this lovely pandemic. For January and February, my average daily steps were hovering around 10,700, but in March, that number has plummeted to 8,800, with the second two weeks being notedly worse than the first two. April’s not looking like it’ll be any better. I can pace around the garden of my Airbnb for 2,000 or so steps a day and when I go out for groceries, I get a boost, but I’m trying to leave as little as I can. RIP this goal—for now. We’ll see if I can make it up in a post-pandemic world.
2. Eat better. How? Eat vegetables every day, dessert NOT every day, and eat meat 3-4x/week versus every day. Honestly, if I could just reverse the amount of chocolate and the amount of spinach I eat, I’d be golden. The meat thing is both for my health (the meat I most often eat is usually red meat or highly processed meat, neither of which is ideal) and for the environment’s health.
On track to be a win, I think! Now that I’m cooking for myself all day every day, I’m eating a lot more veggies, so that’s lovely. I still eat dessert every day, but I am eating less meat (and more beans, eggs, and cheese instead), so I feel good about that part of the equation.
3. Continue to find ways I love to be active—and do them. How? When in one place for a while, find a Pilates studio and do that. When not, take dance classes, go for long walks, and do circuit training while I watch TV—but be active more regularly, all around.
On track to be a maybe. I joined a gym here in Antigua which has now shut down, but when it was open, I took Zumba and Pilates and yoga classes and did my little baby arm circuits and elliptical sessions on my own. I still get little to no joy from regular workouts themselves, but obviously being active is a good thing. We’ll see if I can keep this up during quarantine (so far, looking like a fail) or at least pick it back up when we’re out.
4. Read constantly and widely. How? Read three books a month, at least one of which is not a novel. Keep tracking my reading, sharing my recommendations, and asking for friends’.
On track to be a win. I’ve read 43 books so far this year, eight of which were works of nonfiction (though that number is trending downwards; I can only bear to read novels currently, as evidenced by the fact that I couldn’t get more than 25 pages into Jared Diamond’s latest treatise on the downfall of nations). Also, I still count books read by birthday year, not calendar year, so that includes some of 2019, but still—doing just fine.
5. Actually get better at reading in Spanish. How? Read one article a week in Spanish and discuss it with a Spanish-speaking friend.
On track to be a fail. I think I did this all of once…my Spanish reading comprehension continues to be terrible, which means my vocabulary continues to stay stagnant. I very rarely learn new words by listening to them; I need to see them, over and over again, and to see them in context with other words. Following Spanish-language accounts on Instagram has been helpful, but truly I remain abysmally bad at this.
6. Try new things and be unafraid to fail at them. How? I’ll let myself not have determined all the answers re: things that might interest me, but some to start with: making sourdough bread, getting better at salsa dancing, learning more pottery and ceramics, learning the piano, picking up a new language, making jam, rock climbing, and more.
I think this is on track to be a win? I took a few salsa lessons in Antigua (back when we were allowed to do that); I’ve been cooking a bunch and practicing that; I know a tiny bit of French now. Creating new hobbies is hard without having a regular home, and that’s one of the things I most look forward to exploring when I can go back to having one of those again: a space to explore and experiment.
Invest in my relationships and communities, even (or especially) when I’m on the road.
1. Continue to grow with Diego. How? Keep the magic and romance alive while we’re traveling with surprises and generosity. Work on stretching my patience for the things we always clash over: money, controlling situations, family ideals. Give him my time and support as he grows his business.
On track to be a maybe. My patience has not grown, at least not until a few days ago, and the magic by and large fizzled out (though that’s not all on me by any means) over the last couple of weeks. We’re on a good path again now, but it’s not been easy. I suppose growth often isn’t. But I anticipated this growth being a lot less frictionless than it’s been so far, thus the maybe. We’ll see. I’m holding out hope for us.
2. Be a good sister and a good daughter. How? Love and accept my family. Call often. Be generous with time, forgiveness, and money. Spend a week+ with my family at least once in 2020.
On track to be a win. Still planning to go back to the States this summer, if we’re allowed to, and in general have been in touch with all members of my immediate family and many members of my extended family a lot more in the last three months than I’ve been in the past. I love them and it’s great.
3. Stay in touch with my friends and show them love. How? Prioritize the money and time to show up at their weddings. Call regularly—catch up with at least one person at length each week. See friends in person and invite them to come to me when I’m in one place for a while. Acknowledge that regularity does not make a friendship, but that depth of connection does, and prioritize maintaining that.
On track to be a win. We had a Brinley visit this quarter, which was wonderful; being with her in the same time and space and getting to talk and work and bitch and laugh and dance and eat eat eat was just what we both needed. Again, a pandemic silver lining is the excuse to call and catch up more often, so while I was already doing a good job of checking in with friends, I think we’re even more regular about that now. We’ll see if weddings can still happen!
Q2: Please don’t kill us
Literally, and also figuratively. Based on how things are currently going for my loved ones and my work, this pandemic has been inconvenient but not murderous; I’d like it to stay that way. (I know how glib that sounds, especially as COVID-19 is murdering people around the globe. I don’t mean it that way. Let me make a joke, please, I need the outlet.) We’ll see where we all are in another three months. For now, stay inside, call your loved ones, and be only as productive as you want to be.
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