2022 Goals
I know January 1st is arbitrary. I know it. I know nothing changes when the ball drops on the 31st and the clock ticks forward into a new day, into a new year.
But then I hear myself talking to a friend and saying, “Yes, I spent four months of this year in New York,” and have to correct myself: “Of last year, I mean.”
And it feels like magic.
/22 enters the chat
The magic isn’t in the dates, but in how the dates manifest themselves in our lives. Being able to force distance with two words: “last year.” The /22 instead of /21 of a new journal entry. Remembering what it felt like to show up to that journal in /20, feeling floored at how much time has passed since then.
It was in /18 that I wrote an essay about mothers and wanting to be one one day. I’ve been thinking about the subject a lot after reading and loving When I Ran Away by Ilona Bannister and watching and loving The Lost Daughter. They’re the same story: mothers broken by mothering who have to leave their children in order to rescue themselves. (I wonder if there’s an essay there: the backwards-looking slow reveal of the trauma plot working so well alongside the frenetic self-sacrifice of motherhood.)
Here in /22, I’m not sure I want to be a parent. In the last four years, I’ve learned a lot more about myself. About the world. About what being a good parent requires, and about all the areas I’d fall short. About the harm I don’t want to pay forward and the support I don’t see the world giving mothers.
Luckily, I don’t have to decide right now. This year isn’t about that.
Values in action
The magic in the new year is looking backwards at who we’ve been and forwards at who we want to be.
Doing that thinking is one of my favorite traditions, and it’s how I come to my annual goals. This year’s are loosely organized, like in years past, around my core values. In four words, those are:
- Community
- Health
- Freedom
- Creativity
In a lot more than four words, here’s how those translate into what I hope to do this year.
(One note, first: I’m nervous that so many of these goals are connected to logistics I can’t entirely control, moving to Europe chief among them. But these last two years have confirmed for me that I am fully capable of adjusting my ambitions on the fly, if logistics require them. Cross your fingers with me that they don’t, though, won’t you?)
Cherish and invest in community + intimacy.
- Find a long-term, in-person community again, and my own space within it. How? Move to Valencia, I hope, and plug into the scene there. Build a group of friends and have a home base from which to explore. Find an apartment and invest in making it feel like home. Host people often.
- Show up for my loved ones and bring them together. How? Say yes to things. Be a good friend, and by good I mean honest, dependable, generous, and kind. Go to Katie’s wedding in August, and plan a US trip around it to see other loved ones. Plan an event for my birthday in August in Spain. Spent two weeks with Anna in Italy. Regularly attend and throw other events: dinner parties, game nights, art classes.
- Improve my Spanish and be able to make and maintain relationships in it. How? Above all, move to a Spanish-speaking space and live my daily life at least partially in that language. In addition, read at least five books in Spanish this year and build at least two all-Spanish friendships.
- Keep up with my virtual creative communities and learn with them. How? Participate enthusiastically in English-language book club (LSBC) and writers’ group (The Light Brigade) and successfully manage Spanish-language book club (Las Que Leen) each month. Evaluate creating / joining an in-person creative group once I have my footing.
- Be in love. How? Stay optimistic. Put myself out there. Be open and brave.
Take care of me.
- Move my body often. How? Be outside for at least an hour a day when weather permits. Hit an average of 10,000 steps/day or more. Be in the ocean every month. When I’m in one place, find classes—dance, Pilates, lifting, whatever—that I like and do them regularly.
- Enforce my boundaries. How? Don’t put myself in situations where I can’t take care of myself, or where I will be treated in ways that make me physically and emotionally uncomfortable. Prioritize relationships based on who respects them. Say “no” more often.
- Eat things I love but in a balanced way. How? Cook for myself at least half the time. Don’t live in extremes of three weeks eating on the road and then a week of penance afterwards. Bring more balance into my day-to-day.
Enjoy current freedom and optimize for future freedom.
- Make enough money to live comfortably wherever I want, including some portion of the year in New York City, and to be saving to buy a place of my own in future. How? Gross 200k in my business this year, successfully deal with the massive and massively complicated EU / US tax burdens to come with it, and save half or more of what’s left post-tax.
- Better manage my money. How? Have enough net worth to justify and pay for a financial advisor by the end of the year who can help me with some of the bigger decisions. Clean up my money habits by going back to daily tracking of spending + bimonthly review of trends.
- Solidify my business. How? Exceed expectations on my current contracts and build a pipeline of 2-3 future ones. Experiment with passive income when possible and aligned with my values. Hone my product offering into the things I really like to do, and say no to opportunities that aren’t on that list.
- Take real time off. How? Take at least four weeks of pure vacation, no work being done. If that means disrupting my average weekly hours worked, fine, but have more stretches of time off.
Appreciate and pursue creativity.
- Finish a big project in a way that builds towards my goal of producing something. How? I’ll give myself options here: I want to have completed a screenplay, published a long project in a reputable outlet, or drafted a book proposal.
- Write regularly. How? Six new essays, written and published (and sent to subscribers!). At least one in an outlet I respect that’s not this blog.
- Read widely and regularly. How? Let’s go for a minimum of 5 books/month.
Ready, set, go?
We’re not racing through 2022—we’re gently loving ourselves towards the finish lines that make sense for us. I’m excited to strive that way with you and to cheer you on each step of the way.