On The Road Again, Always: Q2 Check In On 2021 Goals
Hello from the passenger seat of my beloved (and newly reconstructed) Penny as the valleys of central Pennsylvania rush by my window. Smoke hangs in long coils above the copses of oaks and aspens. Blue-grey clouds, long and low like train-flattened pennies, crowd in the rearview as raindrops splat and shake their way up the windshield.
I’m on the road again, though this time just for a ten-day stretch of visiting loved ones in the Keystone State before heading back to Brooklyn.
Being on the road has been the story of my life for the last three and a half years, though in different iterations each time.
I’ve been a backpacker, changing cities every few days or weeks, checking in and out of hostels and making friends I’d see for a day or maybe a week before moving on.
I’ve been a road-tripper, staying no more than a day or two in each place and clocking hours and hours on the road, feeling acutely the grinding exhaustion of the planning and physicality of moving and feeding and caring for your body day in and day out without routines and excess space to lean on. (And feeling the thrumming, awestruck appreciation that comes with it, when your thoughts evaporate upon climbing onto the roof of a hiking hut to see the sky melt into mountains. Or when you peer over the edge of the Grand Canyon and realize just how long a river can stay fighting for. And so on.)
I’ve lived in new cities for an extended period of time, three- and nine-month stretches, sticking my backpack in a closet and buying unpractical shoes and making friends I built into my life: fellow creators, expats, food-obsessed people that came with me when I left, even if just in WhatsApp audios and plane tickets.
The last half of last year and the first half of this year have been versions of that new-cities model, just done on home ground.
It’s different, doing it like this. Less uncomfortable. I miss feeling myself learning, growing, expanding in real time, with each new word mastered or street remembered or custom figured out. But there’s something I deeply appreciate about the ease.
I spent the second quarter of this year mostly in New York City, and it’s felt like coming home. I haven’t had to memorize subway routes because I know them, and I haven’t had to go through the rewarding but exhausting process of trying to chisel new friendships from the city’s bedrock because I already have many of my favorite people here, and I haven’t had to figure out how to design the right combination of life-sustaining things because I already know what they are.
(They’re this: In New York, I exercise by walking and running [spending time in a gym when the city is right there, asking you to explore it, feels wrong]; I feed myself at restaurants and bakeries and food trucks [cooking feels like a waste of time here; I do force-feed myself vegetables and fruit at home, though, for my arteries’ sake]; I see my friends at parks and dinner and cultural explorations [and not bars and clubs because those don’t serve me anymore.])
This last quarter, especially after the three that came before it, has confirmed to me that New York is the place in the States that I most belong. I hope it is always part of my life.
But coming back has also showed me that I can leave again.
Every few weeks, I’ll see a viral tweet that goes something like “I just need to quit my job, blow up my life, and move abroad and then all my problems will be solved.” It’s a tempting way to think: a full-out pursuit of the novel, the desk swept clear of the clutter of memory and past and obligations. And it’s probably a worthwhile thing for some people to do.
But that’s not how I think about the lives I’m building every time I’m in a new—or an old—place. I don’t think I’m running away from the past, or reinventing it.
I’m adding new facets to my present. I’m expanding the places I can learn to survive in, inviting in new people I can love and learn from. I’m sharpening the edges of my experience, adding to my toolkit for finding fulfillment. I’m building, in real time, extensions of my past I can later go visit.
I don’t know what this means for where I want my long-term home to be. New York is beautiful but so impractical, with its cold winters and its sky-high real estate market; I couldn’t have a long-term home here without spending the kind of money I could only get from a job I don’t particularly want to have. Maybe I will be able to make it to one of those European cities I talked about when I first laid out my 2021 goals and see if it feels like a good place to build a base. Maybe I’ll let go of the dream of permanence and keep living in one-year blocks, cycling back through the rooms I’ve built for myself in each place.
Lots of maybes. I’ll keep working on those. For now, I’ll tell you some sure things: how I’ve done against the goals I laid out for myself in January of this year.
Care for my health, mind, body, & soul.
1. Keep reading and learning. How? Read at least four books/month, at least one of which is a non-novel. Stay in my lovely book club and discuss with them! And keep my book journal to mark what I’m reading and what it’s teaching me in terms of life, craft, history, empathy, etc.
This is a win. A strong one. Books have always been one of my favorite ways to grow, process, reflect, learn, and I have continued to prioritize them. I now have not one but TWO functioning, wonderful book clubs and they bring me so much joy. I can’t wait to share my birthday wrap-up post next month. (Here’s what I read in year 26 if you want to see an example!)
2. Practice mindfulness semi-regularly, versus as a last resort to stressful situations. How? Mediate at least 3x/week.
This is a fail. When I looked back at my last post as I prepared to write this one, I was immediately embarrassed by how thoroughly I had deprioritized this. I did mediate, today, just now, before working on this, but I certainly have only been using it in times of extreme stress. I’d like to work on this going forward.
3. Stay moving. How? Walk an average of 10,000 steps/day and work out 3x/week.
This is an almost-win. I’m technically hovering somewhere around 9,700 steps/day because I was relatively sedentary in March, when I got terribly sick with a bad allergic reaction, and April, when I was at an artists’ residency and spend more time traveling with my brain than my feet. But I do either Kayla, when I’m not in New York, or run, when I am, and work on moving my body every day.
4. Feel more confident in my body. How? Eat better and take good care of myself; avoid the self-pitying slump that reared up during the pandemic.
This feels like a win. I love and am so grateful for my body.
Keep valuing community and be a world citizen.
1. Find a city I want to live in and find a way to be there. How? For Q1, I’ll be sheltering-in-place in Austin and seeing if that could be a medium-term home. I’m really interested in being abroad, though, so ideally I’ll get to date London, Madrid, Berlin, Amsterdam, etc. at some point this year for a month or so each, then get the right visas to be able to stay in the one I’m most in love with, then find good housing and start settling in.
Well, this has to be a maybe, I suppose. I can now say that New York is still the place I’d most like to call home in the States, and I haven’t yet dated any of those other places. Maybe later this year, if it feels right and safe. I want to tell myself here and now, though, on the record: if I decide not to go live abroad, that’s okay, too; I’ll find another path to feel uncomfortable in the very best way.
2. Make new friends and keep the old. How? Regular phone calls with people I love, celebration of their wins and love through their losses, even from afar, at the cadence of at least two per week. Keep shot-shooting with friend crushes around once a month, and, when it’s safe, participate in lots of community events.
This is a win, though the mechanics might’ve shifted a bit. I do see or catch up with friends at least twice a week, and I have reached out and made new ones, though not as systematically as I thought I might need to. Have loved being able to go back out into the world, even slowly, and to revitalize the casual tier of friendship: the people you’re thrilled to run into at a social event and catch up with and will see again who knows when.
3. Enjoy family. How? Visit at least annually, including with extended family, and encourage them to come visit me when I’m settled somewhere. Set and maintain healthy boundaries.
I will count this as a win because I do see and visit and am visited by the family who understand my boundaries.
4. Re-enter the world of dating. How? Don’t feel like I need an action plan for this one, but it is something I want to do when it’s safe. Love is great & I want to experience more of it.
Ha—a win, with more updates on this coming, though I am reminded, a couple of months into doing it again, that the only real, requited love I’ve experienced has come from meeting someone in real life, and not when I expected to.
5. Keep up with my Spanish. How? Have at least one extended conversation in Spanish per week—with Brinley, Laura, Gabs, Jimena, etc.—and keep listening to music and podcasts in Spanish at least 3x/week. I’d like to say that I’ll also finally finish Outlander in Spanish but I have failed at my Spanish-language-reading goals for three years in a row and I’ve finally accepted it.
This has to be a fail, once again, because the mechanics have gotten away from me. (Look at that passive voice! Because I’ve failed to do them.) I do have an hour of Spanish chat every other week, with book club, and I love it and them, and I do listen to Bad Bunny constantly, but I can feel my Spanish calcifying in my brain and I hate that. I will be better.
Commit to my craft and be productive with it.
1. Write personal and cultural essays that I’m proud of. How? Write at least two essays per quarter and see them published, both here and in at least three new-to-me outlets, and write for at least 90 minutes per week on non-commissioned ideas or non-client work.
This is a fail, big time. I have written the essays—one on grief, another on friendship, the one on dark times, another on death rituals, and one big one on Maggie Rogers—but I haven’t seen them published. I’ve shopped around some of them, and gotten editor interest, and gotten some very nice rejections, but have yet to find them homes, and haven’t done a good enough job of prioritizing the submission process. I did have my feature on the egg donation market published in Teen Vogue, but still need to work on those new-to-me outlets. And need to write more, period.
2. Learn from better writers. How? Participate in at least three critique sessions with peers, read writing on craft at least once a month, and take a writing workshop of some sort.
This is a win! I got to do all of this at the artists’ residency I did in April, and I’ve joined a writers’ group since then, too. Regular time for critique and workshopping pieces and it makes me very, very happy. The craft reading is mostly just coming from literary Twitter but I do think that counts.
Medium-term goal: Work towards writing something that I can later produce. Maybe it’s a memoir, an essay collection, a reported feature. I’m curious about the process of bringing an idea/story to the screen, and I think I’d be good at the combination of creative + managerial elements involved, so I think being a part of adapting my own work would be a great way to explore that. I don’t plan on writing a book proposal this year, but I do want to be shooting for doing work that’s unique and meaningful and in that league over time.
No big update on this one, but I am taking off a few days next week to work on my very first screenplay—and I can’t wait to see how it goes.
Grow professionally and be financially successful.
1. Launch and run a successful business. How? Q1 will be about setting up the scaffolding that supports my company: first payroll and accounting systems, then some branding work (won’t plan on it being an avenue to new clients but want a consistent look across the board), and then Q3 and beyond will include exploring more about taxes and incentives, including a SEP IRA. Commercially, I will bring on 2-3 new clients on retainer this year and maintain my core 4-5 otherwise. I don’t plan to limit myself to only one niche, but expect content marketing and brand/marketing strategy to be my two biggest buckets of income.
This is a win. Everything’s set up logistically, and my SEP IRA is already open, ahead of schedule!, though I do need to decide if I really care about the branding thing and if I do, to put real resources behind it. I’ve signed two new clients, though have had some turnover with my other ones so I need to maintain my development pipeline. And I’m still working the hours that I want to work, which is great, though as I add more clients and more complexity I’m having a harder time enjoying my off time, so I’ll work on that in the next quarter.
2. Continue to plan for my future and have the resources needed to support it. How? Earn at least $100,000 in gross revenue (not including taxes, benefits, etc.) and save at least $20,000. That first figure is fairly arbitrary—100k isn’t a magic number; 90k would be fine, etc.—but it’s nice and round, so we’ll aim for that.
On track to be a win. Though if I keep living in New York I need that number to be much higher so…there’s that to consider!
3. Keep learning about other careers and industries. How? Keep doing Lunchclub and other virtual networking sessions, including ones I organize, 2x/month. Continue to work on NeighborShare and get to know that talented team + develop a deeper understanding of the nonprofit world and also of the process of creating a tech product from scratch.
A maybe based on the original “how,” which I’m changing, because networking for networking’s sake just isn’t it for me. I have kept working with NeighborShare, and have been able to keep learning and growing in that space, and am excited to continue it.
All in all
I didn’t do a Q1 check-in. I thought about it, but I was preparing for my residency and just didn’t feel like I had substantial edits to make. Maybe I’ll keep my goals check-ins on a six-month cadence going forward, maybe I’ll go back to quarterly, who knows. What I am sure about is this: these have been six long, sometimes painful, often wonderful months of growth. I’ve:
- Lived in Austin, Texas and New York City
- Published a story I’m really proud of
- Written 20,000 words of original essays I’m really proud of
- Produced a video
- Signed two new clients I’m thrilled to be working with
- Run the content operations for a nonprofit I believe in
- Brushed up my cooking/baking skills (thank you GBBO and our stocked-as-hell pantry in Austin)
- Completed my first artists’ residency
- Started a writers’ group
- Made new friends!!!
- Seen old friends!!!!
- Read a ton
- Loved a lot
- Had hard feelings and gotten better at sitting with them
- Defended my boundaries
For the rest of this year, I want to keep up the progress I’m making towards my professional + career goals and renew my efforts re: taking care of myself. I also need to double down on money management because…wow…this quarter I have spent money as if it was a non-limited resource and we LOVE the memories that brought us and the people we were able to help and the ease of it all but that’s not sustainable.
Wishing you and me love and luck and success and good books and better people and sure, a lot of extra cash, too —
and see you in a few months 🙂